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When my daughter found Britney on my iPod...

Posted: Friday, January 18, 2008 10:59 AM

By Don Teague, NBC News Correspondent

DALLAS – I was driving my 15-year-old daughter, Rachael, to school the other day. 

"Do we have to listen to the news?" she asked, already switching the tuner from AM to FM. 

"No, you can change the channel," I answered, as if I had any actual say.

After 30 seconds of scanning every station, she remembered nobody plays music in the morning.

"Ugh," she said, digging in her backpack, "I forgot my iPod." 

So she scrolled through my iPod to see if by some miracle my musical tastes have changed. 

"Slightly Stoopid, ewww."

"G. Love, as if."

"The Cure, puh-leeze."

She kept scrolling.

"Anything but Linkin Park," I said, "not at 8:20 in the morning."

She suddenly stopped scrolling, and shot me what I can only call an "accusatory" look.

"What’s this?"

"What?"

She showed me my own iPod.

"THIS…Do you seriously have Britney Spears on your iPod?"

I tried to use my grownup voice.

"Yes.  It’s her new album. It’s surprisingly good."

"Dad," she said earnestly, "Britney Spears is not a good role model, she’s disgusting."

Before I could respond, Linkin Park began destroying my car speakers.

'Supporting a train wreck'
It could have just ended there, but it didn’t.  That night she waited until the whole family was together in the kitchen to bring it up again.

"Dad downloaded the new Britney Spears album," she said casually.

My 12-year-old daughter, Madison, stifled a laugh.

"You’re kidding," my wife said to me. I suddenly realized where Rachael got her "accusatory" look from. "Why would you give her our money?  You’re just supporting a train wreck."

I didn’t have an answer.

"That’s kind of harsh," I said, hoping that would be the end of it. 

But it wasn’t. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to answer that question for myself.  It’s literally kept me up at night.  

Why did I buy the Britney Spears album?
I should mention that I’ve never been a Britney Spears fan. When Rachael was nine years old, she begged me to take her to a concert.  I did…it was torture.

And it’s impossible to see anything positive in Spears’ personal life. There’s no need for me to go into the sordid details.  If you live in America, you already know about her alleged problems with substance abuse, all-night partying, driving disasters, marital strife and unstable behavior. Most importantly, you know her actions may have endangered her children. She has lost custody of both, and this week a judge suspended her visitation rights indefinitely. 

Britney Spears has no one to blame for any of this but herself. 

But is it really necessary to enjoy watching her self-destruct?

Hoping for a second chance
If most of us had a friend or family member in her situation, we’d be grief-stricken.  We would pray she gets help, or has a "moment of clarity" and realizes she’s putting herself in jeopardy. A family spokesperson last week publicly asked for Americans to pray for Britney. 

"I would really hope that that those who seek God for strength in their life would be interceding for this family," said Lou Taylor on the Today Show.

Instead, people are betting on whether Britney will overdose or die in a car accident.   There’s even a website offering a Sony Playstation 3 to the person who picks the date of Britney Spears' death. The paparazzi chase her around to capture every down-spiraling minute.

Have I seen the pictures?  Yep.  

Read the lurid details?  Sure.

Been morbidly entertained?  Yes.

Not anymore.

As a person of faith, I believe in second chances, and third, and fourth for that matter.  Britney Spears may not deserve it, but it’s not for me to decide.  Yeah, I’ll pray for Britney Spears, as naïve as that may sound to some of you, because her family asked.

So, in thinking about it I discovered the real reason I bought Britney Spears’ new album.  It’s a symbolic vote for a second chance.

Plus it’s got a beat you can dance to.

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Comments

Britney has had a second chance, and a third, and a fourth.  She needs a big wake-up call.  She has never had to pay the consequences for her actions.  If she doesn't want to show up for court, she doesn't have to because she's Britney Spears. She's no better than the rest of us.  Maybe she should do morgue duty and emergency room duty like Lohan and a lot more than 8 hours.  Personally, I'm tired of hearing about her and her stupid, irresponsible stunts.

Lynne, Lebanon, OR (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 12:49 PM)

Thank God there are still people like you in this world.  You are absolutely right in all you've said. Face it - Britney Spears is a trainwreck waiting to happen - but what if it did happen?  Wouldn't that be the saddest thing in the world? Two small boys would be without their mother. Once upon a time ago, Britney Spears had the world in her hands.  Unfortunately, she has lost sight of all the important stuff in life that money and fame cannot buy.  If Britney Spears was an "ordinary" person, I'm sure that she would have true friends that would step in and try to intervene - try to get her help.  I pray that she finds the strength within herself to seek help.  I will pray for her.

WolfeHave, Seattle, WA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:01 PM)

I am also God fearing and thank him EVERY single day for second chances. As a single mom of three, I have had way more than my fair share. I also am glad your daughters do not revere her as a role model. But I do not think she is disgusting - I feel sorry for her. I actually look at the pictures and worry for her. I guess that is the motherly instinct in me. Hopefully she will get help.

Mandy, Cincinnati, OH (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:01 PM)

As long as people like you keep enabling her, keep handing her more money and pretending that she is still a credible pop star, she is never going to wake up.  She needs to go broke so that her entourage of exploiters stop propping her up.  That moment of clarity is never going to come as long as her record company still considers it profitable to buy songs for her to whisper along to.  Right now, she sees no reason, not even the loss of her children, to ever stop doing what she loves: staggering from gas station to gas station in a drugged-out haze, surrounded by paparazzi who keep screaming at her that everything is OK.

Calvin, Philadelphia, PA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:02 PM)

This poor girl has been used as a meal ticket by everyone around her. She needs to step away from it all and  find her good self again. Keeping her from her children may wake her up but do not keep them from her for long. They are the only genuine people in her life. She needs them and they need the good Britney.

Lynne Showers (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:02 PM)

I have 6 daughters, some who made some horribly irresponsible decisions in their youth. I am not a Brittany fan...never was.  I just find her public melt-down to be tragic.  She and her sons are in my prayers.

Cathy Linney, Trinity, TX (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:02 PM)

it isn't up to use to judge and i don't beleive in a god it was her up bring and the cold hearts of r country that has led people to be so vile about things we make mistakes and don't have the things to deal with that she does and i don't even like her music or think she is goodlooking but we all r no where near perfect

stlouis mo (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:02 PM)

Great point. As people of faith we should care about her demise. And as someone who may not think she has the talent and voice of many other artists, her music is entertaining, and I must confess I have also bought the new album, and the same problem came up in my head, "why am I giving her my money?" I think it's for the hope that her having a hit, and getting back on track is worth it. Plus it is actually a great album.

Brandon, Tucson, AZ (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:03 PM)

Being a hell raiser when I was young almost
killed me.I survived.Am now 74 years old.

            Jim T.

Jim T, Idaho Falls,Idaho (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:05 PM)

kudos.

Amy, Los Angeles, CA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:06 PM)

As a woman twice Britney's age, and as one who keeps asking herself not only "what is Britney doing to her life?" but also "why do I care?," you've put this into words for me. Thank-you.

Liz Nelson, Dudley, MA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:07 PM)

Thank goodness someone is willing to say that there is a hopeful way to view this tragic drama.  I say leave her alone. Some media sharks can be relentless.
I hope for someone with nothing to gain  comes into her life and she can find trust and relief.

Kate Trapp, Antioch, CA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:08 PM)

I laughed at your daughter's response, since I have said the same to my 6 year old that wants to listen to her! Some people do deserve a second chance, but usually they WANT a second chance, she just wants attention. It's just sad, that there seems to be no one that can get to her. And double sad that its the kids that have to be in the middle of her distruction. If it was anyone else, they would have had those kids gone along time ago and she would be in jail for child endangerment, will it take one of those kids to pass away before someone steps in?
Get that women on some good meds and counseling.
This behavior shows that if you have enough money you can behave anyway you want-kids or no kids......

double dee (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:08 PM)

I agree. She's a mess. Her new album is pretty good. We should be over her now and all celebrities actually...how bout some actual REAL news and stop desensitizing everyone to whats really going on...WE ARE AT WAR people...britney is just a person.

CaliLove (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:08 PM)

I'm glad to see someone else feels the way I do. I'm NOT a person of faith, but I am a person of humanity, and I don't understand the apparent glee people feel when discussing Britney. It reminds me of the tales you read of audiences watching people being thrown to the lions; haven't we moved past that?

Taking bets on how she will die? Are you kidding me? All I would say to ANYONE participating in these kind of disgusting practices is this: karma is a real kick in the head.

April, Richmond, VA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:08 PM)

I could not have said it better myself.

peggy wilhelm springfield, ne. (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:08 PM)

As a Woman of Faith, I do Pray for Britney.  However, she's on her own distruction course.  As many Celebraties believe, the Law's of Man do not apply to them.  She's a Prime example.  To bet on her date of death is sick.  I will continue to Pray for Her, and Only God himself can give her 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances.  

Linda Upland Ca (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:09 PM)

That us great, everyone does deserve a second chance, but I think she has had many chances to change. Those two babies she has is all the reason and motivation a mother should ever need. She needs to get help fast.
I will say a prayer for her and all of the people in this world who need it.

Robin, Mason, Ohio (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:09 PM)

Also a person of faith,I would like to add... AMEN !!

David Love, Spokane, Wash. (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:10 PM)

I agree. I watched a video of Britney being hounded by paparazzi, it was a wonder she was able to get into her car. This is a girl who was raised in the entertainment business. Ever since she was a child someone has profitted from her fame. Whether it was her parents or the industry. It's not the publics job to determine her mental health or her demise. She is a human being, who from the sounds of it, just needs someone. I don't think she's found that person yet, but someone who really believes in her. I wish her the best of luck, and I also agree, that her new album is great!

Anonymous (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:11 PM)

I personally don't think she deserves a second chance, she's already had way too many chances with the courts, the L.A. police, her family and her fans. I think everything that has happened to her she has brought on herself.

Betsy Earley, Baltimore, MD (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:11 PM)

Britany is human just like us.Put yourself in her shoes,she can't even go for a sunday drive without someone chasing her down(recklessly)to get a picture or catching her pick her nose.So they can plaster it all over the magazines.What state of mind would you be in if you had no privacy at all?Think about it!

CLW from Arkansas (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:11 PM)

It's nice to see at least one person who wouldn't like to see the poor girl (she does have some issues) die like marilyn monroe.

Scott, Ft Myers, Fl (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:12 PM)

Great music choice on G. Love and Slightly Stoopid.  They are all great role models for America, teaching about peace and leaving out sexual references.

Stacy Lee, San Fransisco, CA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:12 PM)

The last I heard the person has to ask for a second chance. I haven't seen anyplace where she has wanted a second chance.

cutie Lousiville, ky (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:13 PM)

I am not a fan of Spears, she was a hotty when she first started out and her music though not my cup of tea is good. It's easy to see a rich and famous star fall and find amusement in it, kinda gives us middle class folk some gratification. If she did not have kids I would probably not have simpathy for her, but she does. To many times in the news you hear of a mother or father being killed and leaving little ones behind. Brits parents do not seem to be much of a parental group. FOr the sake of her 2 childeren I do hope Ms. Spears can get it together. I also wish that the media would give her time so she can get her head together. I also wish Brits parents would get off there lazy butts and goto there daughter and grand children and try to help.

Roninlord (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:15 PM)

I too just bought my first Britney cd. I'm her age. I agree with you and your daughter. She isn't what girls should aspire to be but she does deserve some chances, it's not right for people to wish these awful things on her.

Kris, Union NJ (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:15 PM)

I love your story. It is wonderful that you are looking at her as a person. God is powerful and hopefully if enough of us pray for her she will come around. Maybe even turn her life to Crist.  Thank you for being you and sharing your story.

Shelley, Bradenton, Florida (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:15 PM)

They need to LEAVE Britney Spears ALONE before they drive her to suicide or something. She is just being hounded and hounded, the mind can't take but so much. And, she needs to go into seclusion and get the help she needs before she loses everything -- including her children, which are the greatest gift God gives us.

Audrey - Virginia (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:16 PM)

As the Grandmother of two young women caught up in the same downward sprille as Miss Spears, I too am not entertained by the public exhibit of the actions causing so much pain to her children. Our family is trying our best to care for, protect and love the little souls that have been abandoned by their mothers so caught up in drug and alcohol addiction. I for one will continue to pray, while concentrating on what matters most, THE CHILDREN.

Jean Mitchell, Rehoboth,DE. (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:17 PM)

Yes, I'm praying for Britney Spears as well. She and her family would most certainly benefit from an oupouring of prayers in this very difficult time.

Deb Furtado (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:19 PM)

Hi, Finally I see that someone has compassion for people, instead of making a fast and harsh judgement. Yes sir you must be a man of real faith because that's what real faith means. In our so called civilized world I see people racing to show their deep hatred for people they don't even know and the resentment for others that have more than they do and wait for them to trip or even fall and it's like they challenge or dare them to stay good. We need to remember that we ALL fell short of God's grace. I hope that all the Britney's of our young girls get a second chance in our hearts and I hope that we all remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven.

SuSu, Brooklyn, NY. (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:19 PM)

Thank you for your refreshing comments. It is nice to know there are actually cool parents who still express themselves by listening to music and shaking their booty every now and then! I also think it is wise to write a piece that isn't full of "trashing Britney". Quite frankly, I along with a million other Americans are tired of hearing about every time Britney bends over and shows us her "stuff". Give a human being a break, right?

Miss Wes (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:19 PM)

People- have some compassion- she has had ZERO positive guidance in her life.  Brit is old enough now to take care of herself. We need to worry about her sister.  Jamie Lynn Spears is being exploited!  I was appalled, disgusted, and saddened when I watched an episode of Zoe 101(episode 33,”Wrestling”,season #3,prod code 307) and saw young Jamie Lynne Spears leaning over a desk acting out a scene in which her BREASTS were blatantly and obtrusively EXPOSED for all to see…and by all I mean my 5 year old daughter.  And by EXPOSED I mean that each breast was shown as it’s own separate entity, meant to entice in lustful fashion the trained eye, inviting it  to oogle and gawk as we are so accustomed and expected to do.  The only part left covered was her nipples.  (This is not to be confused with “cleavage”, which would be when the breasts are somewhat pushed together to give a pleasing but more modest visual of  a woman’s figure).
It was embarrassing and uncomfortable.  When my daughter watches sit-coms aimed at adolescents on Nickelodeon channel, I expect her to be entertained by thoughtful, kid relevant stories that deal with issues kids can relate to.  I don’t expect her to be taught that 16 year old girls should let their “tits” hang out of their shirts to dangle in front of the gym teacher.
The real issue here is who made this decision to intentionally exploit Jamie Lynne in this fashion.  Was it the producer__________, the director, Michael Grossman; maybe her agent? Her mother!??   Where is her father?  Somebody should be held accountable. This should be considered a felony and charges should be filed against all involved!  This child is at risk for further exploitation. We all have seen what a lack of  guidance has led to in her sisters case.  Jamie Lynn needs someone to act on her behalf, not somebody who is capitalizing on her wealth.  …And now she’s pregnant.  Surprise-surprise…



Don Mars (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:20 PM)

you are right on the mark...but contrary is the fact that we are sick in following her ever downward spiraling train wreck life, I myself read this article because the headline was Briney Spears, are we that hardwired to thrive on the tragic details of people's demise?

Shauna McLeroy (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:20 PM)

I 100% believe in praying for her peace.  I'm glad you made this public as I too have been wondering how I became so engrossed in such a sad story.  I'm trying to re-focus my interests in something much more benefitial to me and my family, like maybe the Presidential Election.....

Jennifer, Ashburn, VA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:21 PM)

its her life let her live it how she chooses. Only god can judge sum1.. who is any1 to say how she should live her life. she gets paid to entertain & she is giving us a show we wont forget anytime soon

Mallard Featherspoon Pondville, Arkansas (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:21 PM)

I sympathize with the writer's motive for buying BS's new album. I for one am sick of always watching/listening/reading about what feels like to me every child/teen star that I 'grew up' with throw their lives down the toilet. And, even though to a large degree it may seem like she isn't deserving of our money, at the same time BS still needs to know that there actually are a few out there who hope that eventually she sees the light, and perhaps uses that money to get the help she so desperately needs.

CasaNova73099 (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:22 PM)

I think it's wonderful to hear something uplifting and positive about Britney for once. She got my  symbolic vote for a second chance.

M Putnam Jackson, MI (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:22 PM)

If buying the cd is supporting her, then what does buying all the tabloids support? The lunatics that overwhelm her, not to metion countless other 'celebrities', on a dialy basis- risking their lives and the lives of those around them with their reckless disregard for all that is private and personal. If you had cameras following your every waking moment, waiting for you fall apart, what are the chances you could hold up? Self-fulfilling prophecies are dangerous enough, but when the world is rooting for you to fail, why do you bother to try to succeed?

Aimee, Phila, PA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:24 PM)

I really think that Brittany should get out of the spotlight and take care of herself both physically and mentally.  It's obvious that she doesn't care enough because of her two kids because of her actions.  (Don't actions speak louder than words...?)  I really hope she can get the help she needs - but SHE has to do it!

Jen, Palmer, MA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:24 PM)

We are no one to judge others.  In fact it seems like the world has become so involved in the people around them that they forget that we arll make mistakes.  I think we all need to pray more.  This world would be a better place.  Aprayer doesn't cost anything and it is the best give you can make someone in need.

Maggie (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:24 PM)

As a woman twice Britney's age, and as one who keeps asking herself not only "what is Britney doing to her life?" but also "why do I care?," you've put this into words for me. Thank-you.
Liz Nelson, Dudley, MA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:07 PM)

Well said.
I am a woman of Faith, and I will pray for her as well as for any other in this shape. There are thousands more people in this world that have made continuious poor choices as well-she isn't alone rather she just happens to be int he public eye. We all are created equal in His eyes. In saying that why don't people leave her alone? ths old saying still holds truth, " if you are looking for the negative...in someone/thing...you will find it". To some that may be all that there is, however unless her personal choices directly effect you, your health, or well-being leave her alone and pray that she will decide to do what is in the best interest her boys and herself!

Angela, Little Rock, AR (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:26 PM)

Sadly, I think Britney's situation is way more serious than simply watching a train wreck. Granted, she's a child of pop-star privilege, but I truly believe that what we're really seeing is a mentally ill person who CAN'T stop what she's doing because her reality is not real. It's very much like the movie star character on Sunset Strip. And while I too have her on my Ipod, if you listen to her lyrics of even her first album she has been crying for help for a very, very long time about lack of control of her life. When you have "yes" people around all the time, your ability to make rash decisions goes out the window. Bad role model? Yes, but mostly because of her way-too-hoochy attire. But her outrageous actions seem to be more akin to someone who is delusional and a true mental illness whether it's bipolar as some armchair pschychologists have claimed or severe post-partum depression. Whatever it is, I know we can all agree that she needs serious, serious help before someone gets physically hurt.

Lou Anne White-Grose, Grapevine, TX (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:27 PM)

I am with you since the same thing happened to me.  I have 3 daughters ages 18, 11, and 9.  The older one was a fan when she was much younger, and the younger ones were a fan of the oter Spears, Jamie Lynn, until recently when I pulled the plug on Zoey 101 after the pregnancy news.  After watching Britney grow in front our eyes is hard to imagined someone that had strong values as a child become what she is now.  I know that her behavior has to come from some sort of mental problems.  There is the theory that she has post-partum deppresion which I believe.  In any case I secretly started listening to Britney's new songs.  You are right, they are great.  I hope that everyone starts seeing Britney as someone in need of prayers.  I am a mother and I feel for her family.  Hopefully a miracle happens to her and she can come out of this horrible life she is now living.  After all she is only human.

Edie, Dallas, Texas (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:28 PM)

Very well said. I think we are too quick to judge and its really sad. If it were one of our family members or friends, we would be upset and be doing everything we could to help. Instead, most people make a mockery of this horrible situation and use it to get a good laugh. I don't know what is really wrong with Britney, but I believe she does deserve a 2nd chance, as would anyone else, and I will be here to support her 100%. Thank you for the inspiration.

Melissa, Seattle, WA (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:28 PM)

Nothing happens that God does not allow, He knows what it takes for all of us (to get our attention.  I pray that she hears Him when deliverance comes.  There's nothing like God's Deliverance when the world is watching!

CM , Dallas, Texas (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:30 PM)

You are absolutely right.  As the mother of 20-something daughters, I have watched the public desintegration of this young woman with horror and feel nothing but pity for her.  Surely the fact that she has a pack of howling papparazzi at her door who hound her everywhere she goes is greatly contributing to her destruction?  It's a shame they are not prevented from doing what they are doing.  When yet another Britney horror story comes out, all I can think is:  "There but for the grace of God..." People should be kinder to her - she really needs help and we should be more compassionate to a person in such obvious distress - not lick our lips with glee at her self-destruction.

Ana Cabral - Lisbon, Portugal (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:31 PM)

Britney really deserves a second chance, after all she's human too, those who are taking bets on her death may very well die before her. let's be wise and say a prayer for her instead, everybody needs somebody at some point in time. May God help her.

Linda Lewis (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:32 PM)

I am so tired of people making it seem like they have done no wrong in their lives. For some it takes a little more time for people to realize that their making a big mistake. Im sure if there was a family member going through the same thing you wouldnt pass judgement on them. You would want to help them at bettering themselves. So all this criticism needs to stop. Im not a big fan of Britney like I used to be but Im also not GOD and in my eyes only GOD can judge me or any other person.

Lori, Houston, TX (Sent Friday, January 18, 2008 1:33 PM)



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