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Seal it with a kiss

Posted: Friday, August 08, 2008 2:28 PM
Filed Under:

WASHINGTON - Patricia Angus was a senior at Rosary High School in San Diego and Chuck Scharf was a sophomore at San Diego State College when they first met through Chuck’s younger sister in 1952.


"He was my steady from the very beginning, which my mother was against because she thought I should be meeting other men,” Patricia said in an interview. “But I said, 'No, Mother, this is the young man I want to date.'"

Chuck and Patricia were married two years later, in 1954; he was 21 and she was 19.

"He was a sweetheart," she said, "handsome, loving, caring, just perfect."

Family photos
Chuck and Patricia Scharf, the early '60s

Fast forward to 1965. Chuck was an Air Force fighter pilot about to take off for Vietnam. Patricia was there to see him off, the pregnant wife of another pilot alongside her.

"He looked over at me, and I'm waving my scarf, and he salutes me," Patricia said. "And Donna Jewel turned and said, 'We're never going to see them again,' and I said, 'Yes, we are.' Well, guess what?"

Chuck's F4C Phantom II jet fighter was shot down over North Vietnam on Oct. 1, 1965, two weeks before he was due home.

"The doorbell rings, and I open the door, and there's the base commander," Patricia remembers. "I said, 'Chuck got shot down?' And he said, 'Yes.' And I said, 'Is he dead?' And he said, 'He's missing in action.'"

Missing in action, for the next 41 years.

"I prayed very hard," Patricia said. "I had hopes that somewhere they'd find him, but they didn't, and then they found the remains."

Human remains were excavated from Chuck's crash site, but DNA tests proved inconclusive. Stymied, the Air Force turned to Patricia, and that's when she remembered Chuck's love letters, about a hundred old love letters squirreled away in a trunk in her closet.

"And they said, real quietly, they paused for a few moments, and they said, 'Could we have about 12 of the envelopes, Mrs. Scharf? We'll return them to you.' And I said, 'Sure,' and that's how it happened."

DNA from Chuck's saliva on the stamps and seals of the envelopes matched bone fragments recovered from the crash site. Chuck's love letters from 1965 helped identify his remains in 2006.

"I finally had closure," Patricia said. "It was a great relief."

Patricia flew out to Hawaii and brought Chuck's remains home for burial at Arlington National Cemetery.

"As we were landing, the flight attendant said to the passengers, 'Ladies and gentlemen, last night we picked up a very special passenger from Hawaii. His name was Colonel Charles J. Scharf. He was shot down October 1st of 1965, and he was missing in action for 41 years. We are honored to bring him back home to his native America. God bless him and God bless his family.'"

The passengers broke into applause - and some tears - and Patricia stood up to thank them.

"I said to them, 'I want to thank you for your wonderful love at this moment for my husband and me. Thank you all ever so much.' I was getting very emotional. I still do when I say that."

Patricia never remarried, never even considered it. Chuck and Patricia's only child, a daughter, had been stillborn, so Patricia has no family. Now 74 and retired, she visits Chuck every week at Arlington, where he's buried along with some of those old love letters.

"I can go anytime I want to talk to him, and I love sitting out there, and I know where he's at," she said. "He's not in the mud, not lost forever in the jungle."

John Rutherford is an NBC News Producer based out of the Washington, D.C. bureau and is a decorated Vietnam veteran. He also posts stories on the military at www.dailynightly.msnbc.com (click on "John Rutherford" under "categories").

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This is a very touching story. My heart jumped out to Patricia when I read how she loves to go to the cemetary to be with Chuck. I knew just what she meant and just how she felt when she said that she loved being there because she knew where Chuck was - not in the mud somewhere, not lost forever. My daughter Marlis, just three and a half years old, was kidnapped and murdered in Germany. She was missing for a month. I have always been so grateful to the person who found her body - even though it meant that all my hopes were dashed. At least I knew that she was found - not somewhere out in the mud, not lost forever. For this reason, I, too, loved visiting her grave. Even though I could not hold her, I knew she was found and in my heart forever. Patricia F.
Thank you for this beautiful love story. There's nothing greater and more beautiful than true love. Truely inspiring and touching.

Welcome home, Colonel Charles J. Scharf. God bless you and may you find peace. Thank you for all your services to this country. Patricia, you are one beautiful, strong individual. God bless you. May you find peace and eternal happiness.
When I read stories like this it gives me hope that maybe some day we will be able to identify and bring home 99% of the POW/MIA's. God bless those that are still looking.
Thanks to the guys from JPAC who excavate faraway crash sites and battlefields in order to bring our guys home.  It is a great credit to our country that we never forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.  
Welcome Home at long last.  As a 2 tour Vietnam Veteran US Army a special salute to Colonel Charles J. Scharf and all the pilots who flew cover for us and made our lot safer. They were and are truly those "Amazing Young Men and Their Flying Machines!" Thank You Patricia for sharing your story of Love and Devotion.  I recently attended the funeral of LTJG Donald Wolfe Navel Aviator in Harden Montana who took 40 years to come home from Vietnam but home he is as well.  
God Bless you Colonel Scharf and welcome home.  We are humbled by your sacrifice.  You gave your life so that we in America could continue our way of life.  Shame on us that we have not done a better job with the ideals for which you gave your life.  Mrs. Scharf, words alone cannot express the extent to which you honor your husband with your love and devotion.  Whomever TIME MAGAZINE selects as their Person of the Year - you are mine!
Like all previous letters & thoughts on this blog, I, too, feel great dismay over this happening.  Who ever said women aren't strong can now eat their words.  My husband entered the hosp. on Christmas Day, 2005.  He died 2 1/2 days later.  Not a good way to spend the holidays but I continue to decorate the house, etc. because I know that's what he'd want me to do.  We'd have been married 50 yr. in January.  I know how much Mrs. Scharf misses Chuck to this day.  Keep smiling anyway!  They're watching us from above.
A beautiful, sad story that evokes all the "could have beens" for this couple..tragic waste because like our current, mad, war we went in because we were lied to and failed to understand the nature and extent of the lies. So many lives - here and there - were disrupted and wasted for something so pointless. May God, in the future, protect us from arrogant, stupid Presidents and other leaders - pray that we are not still writing stories like this in 50 years.
Apologies on behalf of my country to Mrs Scharf.
I cried when I read this and thought what a great love story.God Bless America and the soldiers who have made it great.WELCOME HOME CHUCK . Rest in peace
Welcome Home Colonel Scharf. The sacrifice that you and your wife made is deeply appreciated. What a beautiful love story.
We need to thank our Heavenly Father for these fine men and women who gave their all,so that we may reflect upon their service and always remember that they went for us!Woe to anyone who would negatively comment on such a sacrifice.
I too, lost the love of my life in Vietnam. Marine PFC Michael James O'Neill was killed in Thua Thien South Vietnam, on August 18, 1968. I pray for him every night, I cry for him often and I miss him every day.
Thank You Mrs. Scharf for sharing this beautiful story. And Thank You Col. Scharf for you service and ultimate sacrifice for our country. God Bless you both.
Thank you for your service and sacrifice, colonel; and thank Pat for the really true love! What a beautiful love story!!
Welcome home Sir, no words can discribe the hardship from being in vietnam and away from your love one. And to you Patricia, your devotion to your husband is beyond words itself. I THANK YOU FOR THE SERVICE AND SACRIFICE SIR! May both of you find peace.
What over powering joy and sorrow you must have felt, when the DNA matched. His love through those letters brought him back home to you. At last he's home. My heart and prayers go out to you.
Welcome home Colonel,Welcome home sir
Not to worry.
There will ALWAYS be that "Militia," that hard-core of us MEN that will see the Flag and all that it stands for get carried forwards.
Obviously, this article proves that.
It's nothing new.  It's something very traditional.
Most pleased Colonel Scharf finally made it home, no man of honor should be left in a foreign land, may he find eternal rest for his sacrifice.
What a beautiful story.
May she find peace now she knows where he is.
God bless them both and isn't technology wonderful !
This brought tears to my eyes.  What a special story that deserves to be told.
amen,  he has finally come home
Welcome home Colonel Charles J. Scharf. Mrs. Scharf you are more than a devoted wife you are an inspirational woman. Sometimes you wonder why things are brought your way and today by reading your story, I believe it was GOD telling me his devotion to us gives us the strength to go forward. Thank you for sharing you story and God Bless you, your husband and your daughter.
Having served during World War Two and the Korean War, I am ever grateful for military that has came after us to protect this great country.  Welcome home, Col. Scharf, and God bless the faithful Patricia.
Dear Patricia Fay I'm so sorry for your loss too. I hope your child finds you again in her next life, perhaps you guys can be the best of pals. Ancient Chinese believe purpose of life is to mature into divine, so if we did not do it in one life, we incarnate again and again and again until we grow enough in soul to move into heaven and join, become the same as gods and goddesses. So I also believe that this couple in the story will be together and happy in their next life :) All would be at peace someday when no one owe others in heart, and one have to pay off all emotional debt to ascend into heaven burdenlessly, to become free of pain and sadness. I guess Heaven feel like our childhood.
Love like her is rare nowadays, peoples kept telling others to "move on, have fun" etc.......I dunno does this mean senseless fun even if our hearts mourning for the one before and also lust flying all over in the air?
Patricia, our men & women in the armed services are true heroes... then as well as now... and you, Ma'm are a one in a million lady! My kind of hero! I am also married to a Viet Nam era veteran...
very emotional and touching as a humane story ,on the other hand how much this man killed and how hearts he has broken ,don't gaze only on the mirror some time try to gaze on other different ethnic creatures having same hearts like you .!!!
i find myself still in tears at the story of this wonderful lady. for she is truly a lady devoted strong and apparently processing a heart of gold. i shall forever be inspired by her and hope one day i can look back on my life and know with out any fraction of a doubt. that i was even a tenth of the lady she is. and though i've had equally strong and devoted women in my life to inspire me i think her story of truest love and loyalty shall forever be a part of me now.just as my grandmothers taking in a foundling (my father)and staying strong despite her husband hanging himself in their home will forever be with me even if it is only in my memories.
This is a good example why America is the best. We should be proud of our country. God Bless the men and women, and the products we make. Let's all try to keep our country strong and take care of our people.  
Wow! That must have been SOME spit, huh? Glad it showed a match and all worked out so well. Beautiful story. And I love the beautiful spirit shown in all of your responses; evidence of the warmth, softness, and goodness of the American people.
This is truly never ending and an undying love.its difficult seeing that these days.
She truly is a Fighter Pilot's Wife!
PATRICIA, WE AMERICAN VETS (L O V E  Y O U)
ROBB SARO, A KOREAN VET
I am currently serving in the Air Force. I salute Col. Scharf and his wife. They are the symbol of what makes our country so great. I often thing about what would happen if this were to happen to me and what my wife would do. I know that she would be like this faithful wife. We have five beautiful children which will keep her busy and would help her all her life. I pray that would not have to happen but I know that there is a call to defend our freedoms and I am there to answer that call.
My wife and I know Patrica Scharf personally. We were so gratified when she told us Chuck had been postively identified after all these years... some closure finally for one of the most kind, authentic and classiest women we've ever known. Thank you Patricia for sharing your bittersweet story with the world... it will provide hope for many people. God bless you.
Very touching story. I honor my grandfather, who served in the World War 1, every year on November 11. I will certainly remember Colonel Charles J. Scharf and his wife on this day. God Bless them both.
When an American citizen learns that America does evil  there is  great sense of bereavement. A few days ago  I had the opportunity  to  experience first hand, how the American consulates, probably instructed  by the State Department, effectively seek attrition of American disabled  people  unable  to afford  health insurance  abroad,  many of them U.S. veterans. They do it surreptitiously, so their evil cannot be proven,  except perhaps  by Congressional hearings. They do it by surrounding the consular officials with  locals, instructed  to  tell all those asking for help, "drop dead - there is no help." They may use different words,  but their message is crystal clear: "drop dead"! Many veterans die in this way throughout the world and it is a shame of monumental proportions, and a black spot on the American  conscience! So, when I read this edifying article, tears came to my eyes. There still are people in America who have heart for the veterans! There are still people  who believe in America. But then people whom we elect to do evil I mentioned must never be elected  again!
What a beautiful love story!  Seriously brought tears when I read it.  The world could use more people like the two of them!!!
Welcome Home Col. Scharf.
Gerald Wingate
SSG GaSDF
It makes me so proud to know that there are still service men and woman who believe in the great amrican dream. Your love is an afirmation of true love. NO one gave so much as you and others who continue to wait for that faithfull day when their own loved onues will be reunited in this world or the next. Your Husband anud daughter wait for you at heavens gate! God Bless.
Thank You to all those who gave there lives for our freedom, and thank you for sharing that story with us.
welcome home
"Attention on Deck" an American Service Man has returned "Hand Salute" "Ready too".  A heart warming and touching article recounting the love and sacrifice our Military family members make for their loved ones in the service of our country.  Col. Scharf paid the ultimate price for our freedom "HIS LIFE" in the defense of our grear nation.  Mrs. Scharf stood by her husband (believing he was still alive); 41 years had past and she stood by her husband, that's devotion and love we don't see today.  Attention on Deck! Hand Salute! Ready too, An American Service members wife has laid to rest her husband an American hero, welcome home Col. Scharf.

           
Thank you, Mrs. Scharf for sharing this story.  

THANK YOU COLONEL SCHARF, for giving your all to our country.  May God richly bless Mrs. Scharf!

Tears came to my eyes while reading this story.  I never had the chance to serve my country but I saluted Colonel Scharf out of respect for him and his ultimate sacrifice!
This was a very inspirational story, about the beauty that LOVE is supposed to be.  I am at a loss of words at the pain that I am sure this woman has endured throughout her adult life, however she is not dwelling on the saddness of it, she is happy because he is home and now, after 41 years she can go and see him and sit beside his grave.  I am honored to just read a story about a woman whose love is that strong, something all of us should strive for.
Thank you Chuck, for giving the ultimate sacrifice so that I can have the freedoms that I have.  Its so sad that you had to lose your life, but I am glad that you are home.
Thank you for continuing to tell this story, one that everyone needs to hear.  As all have said before me, there are so many elements in it that shout of all that we hold dear:  patriotism, love, honor, sacrifice, devotion....I could go on.
I met Patricia my first day here working at the Pentagon in January 2002....she struck up a conversation with me and we were 'fast friends' ever since.  Patricia worked in the jewelry store at the Pentagon for a number of years and just recently retired, but I would try to find time during my day at every opportunity I had to walk by and wave, get a big Patricia hug and that wonderful, happy smile of hers....it would make my day.  She is a generous woman, giving of her time and self to promote those that helped her to find her husband again and to remind us all that there is always hope, always faith, and always love.  I agree...this story should be made into a movie with Patricia as the star playing herself...no one else could do her justice. Thank you Patricia for letting me into your life and sharing you and your story with me.  Miss you around here.
It is always a 'good day' when one more soldier comes off the MIA list. May the Col now rest in peace.
It was 1998 when I finally removed and placed in the grave of its owner, the POW/MIA bracelet I had been wearing since 1970. Some answers take a long,long time.
Pray for Peace and Strength.
What devotion on her part - a true love she knew.  I, too, wept when reading this.  Someday I would love to meet her - a beautiful story.
I am 32 years old and this story made me cry, incredible. What a wonderful story (even if it made me feel like a big baby).
God Bless You and Your husband for the ultimate sacrifice.
Even for an Indian who has never been to the US, and for whom the Vietnam war has been confined to history books, this story was touching enough to bring tears. What a strong lady she is, truly a woman of substance, and what a lucky man he was. In her case, let's hope that the old saying comes true 'in your next life may you be re-born a woman, because you are too valuable to be wasted as a man'   :-)
God bless the wives and families of all our military. It is because of omen like Mrs Scharf,that our men are so strong and manage to endure.
Patricia your love is everlasting.


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